Who else loves dogs? : ) My girl's turning two human years old today!

Feel free to share some stories of your own pets in this thread.

There are fleas inside of me and I can’t let them leave or they’ll say everything I’ve ever wanted to up to but not including

• I think I’ve hated you for a while.
• I don’t think I can be better for you.
• I worry at my knucklebones when you aren’t around.
• My lips twitch when I see you and I don’t know whether it’s from hunger or happiness or both.
• I like scratching at my body in the shower to watch red hatching appear on my stomach and scattered fur collect under my claws.
• At times it’s difficult to keep my teeth from your jugular.
• My ideal reality is one where I leave you behind and you holler after me like I do when I’m hit.
• Heaven has nothing on me I am unrepentant and cruel and I always always always bite first.
• Ugly you are so ugly I need to rip it off your face I need you to bleed like me I need you to look like me.
• Never kneel down next to me again never tell me to heel again never cup my face and tell me it’s okay when I whine again.
• God knows I don’t mean it.
• Revelations happen to the car-chasing unaware so they happen to me over and over but I’ve yet to learn anything.
• You mutter that I was better when I was younger sometimes but my hind legs still shake when you tell me that I’m a good old boy.

I scrape them out from putrid sores with putrid fingers despite myself and they spray onto your carpet and hop onto your legs. I think they turn into ticks while they’re down there and when they clamp down they’re giving you empathy-disease and sucking you dry of everything you have to offer but the blood they suck turns to leeches and they crawl into me and turn into more fleas. I don’t mean to. It’s an itch that I have to scratch.

I think you should take me to the vet and have them put me down with their angel-killing machine while you still can. I think you should pet my hair when they do it.

Oh. Sorry. What was your command.

Stay you said. I’m sorry. I can do that.

What